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good old venting...

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Since I am  going to be open and blunt i will add a disclaimer to this post. Said disclaimer * These are my thoughts not yours you can ignore them agree with them or even bitch about them I don't care*

First things first as stated in my brief post and comment on Jenda's journal. 
Jenda and Shaun- I had an awesome time and I enjoyed myself very much. I have no beef with either of you. So rock on! 
moving on...

Angeline- We never really got along and I actually felt like you had ill feelings towards me but I enjoyed hanging out with you on Saturday. Feel free to attend my b-day.

Alex- I am disappointed. I left saturday night/ sunday morning feeling as though things were being resolved and that a friendship was going to be re-established. Then last night I see your post saying that I am doing this because of my birthday.....! So not true. I have been saying for a few weeks now that I missed you and wanted to hang out with you.I even had Bouncers call you last saturday to come hang out. Then I called you but was told to hang up because you were sleeping. I was trying to be sincere and felt like I was only being mocked and that is upsetting. 

Jessi- So your the hardest for me.I know that you and I can have this amazing friendship but you never want to admit anything. I was also being soooo sincere with you and then I hear as you are leaving that you said "drama drama drama." That was just hurtful.I guess I just have to accept that I will always be the one to :"start shit " and that is not the case. You know I have a problem with Neil. I have said that you a few times. I'll adress him next. If you feel the same as Alex about my impending birthday.... all I can say is that I had been telling Robert that I wanted to talk you and he said its not a smart idea but I believe at the core people are good. Thats how I feel about you. You are a good person maybe just slightly misguided. I say that because things were fine. We were partying and then in a flash you turned coat and I was just left standing there confused.

Neil- I'm sure you are the one that I piss off the most. Especially after all of this. Neil, I think the way you talk down to Jessi is the harshest I have ever heard. I have sat there and heard you guilt her into so many things. I do also see the good things that you have done and I know you have a big heart but it gets eclipsed by the bad.Furthermore, I know you will pick these comments to death. You always want to be the man with the answers and sometimes you may just not have them. That should be ok. We are all only human, ya know? You have such an overbearing personality at times that it makes it hard to get to know you. The few times that we did just sit and talk things were great. 

These are the people I felt it was nessecary to say something to. I was going to make a bunch of calls. I decided this way if you don't want to respond then you don't have to. If you do feel free to give me a call (313-586-2434) or leave a comment on here. c'est la vie!

Current Location:
my room
Current Mood:
gloomy gloomy
Current Music:
The Little Things You Give Away-Linkin Park
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On August 20th, 2007 11:57 pm (UTC), morrigan_le_fay commented:
Tammy-

I've never had ill feelings against you. Like you said, we really never knew each other. I have heard stories about this and that, but really I cannot make such judgments without actually knowing you. I had a fun time on saturday as well, which was why I added you here and on myspace. I was hoping to get to know you better :)
[User Picture]
On August 21st, 2007 03:41 am (UTC), lavalamp27 replied:
twas nice having a good time with you too angeline!
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On August 21st, 2007 03:49 am (UTC), morrigan_le_fay replied:
I agree with you Robert! Right back at ya :)
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On August 21st, 2007 03:42 am (UTC), ex_kur commented:
No one is doubting your sincerity... just questioning the timing. I guess we'll just have to chalk it up as another reoccurring coincidence. Also, it's not that I don't think you're great to hang out with or a good person or any of that... because I do... it's just that as of right now, I don't feel the overwhelming need to make yet another unappreciated effort towards a friend who will just shit on me the moment they have a spat with someone else, then take 7 months to finally decide they "miss me".

Look... I'm not saying you're not my friend... because I never stopped considering you one, but as for REALLY good friends, the kind of friends where BOTH can sit and talk to each other about their feelings and know that the other person is actually listening... I don't see it happening. And it's felt that way since that night I tried talking to you on your trampoline after Amber and I broke up. Its just never EVER felt like you actually give any thought to the things I say to you, less it be a funny quip or something to make you feel better.

Anyway... Tammy, I'm cool with you. I don't have any bad feelings towards you or feel like I should have to keep my distance should we find ourselves sharing the same company... but I'm not going to keep trying for something that should've happen naturally.

Have a happy birthday sweetie.
[User Picture]
On August 21st, 2007 09:12 pm (UTC), taminyboobies replied:
Wow Alex... I can't believe you never mentioned any of this to me before. Sorry I was such a shitty friend. Sorry you feel thatmy friendship has to have effort put into it. good luck with your missing piece.
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